Tuesday, January 9

Wait a Minute Mr Postman

If I had to think of the most stressful jobs, I wouldn’t put Postmen at the top of the list.
Instead, these are the professions I think would be the most stress inducing:
1- Doctors-
they are never off duty.
As soon as someone asks what they do, they know that they are in for a ‘why does it hurts me right here when I cough?’ question.

2- Telemarketers- you know, the people who call you and ask you who handles your insurance; just when you have one kid in the bath, something that needs to be taken out of the oven and someone ringing on the doorbell.
The abuse those poor, innocent people get! Nebech.

3- Staff at Walmart- for heaven’s sake, you know the higher ups were just begging for trouble when they put ‘How can I help you?’ on the back of the staff t-shirts.
Well, how would you feel if you couldn’t speak any English and people are constantly bombarding you with queries like ‘where are the 12 gauge shotguns’?

4- Waiters at any Jewish establishment- we Jews don’t go in for ambience. We don’t go out to eat for the company.
We already talked in the car.
When we go out to eat, we want our food and we want it… fast.

But when I look at my Postman (or mailman to you on the other side of the puddle) I see someone who does things in their own time at their own pace in their own style.
And yet these are people who live this close (my forefinger and thumb are very close together- trust me) to the proverbial edge of reason.
For some odd reason, when a Postman loses it, he goes all out.



So, I have dedicated an entire post to figure out;
Why do Postmen go insane?

Could it be their uniforms?
Why is it that postal services all over the world dress their employees like Uumpa Loompas? With their cute shorts and knee socks, they look more like Munchkins than they do civil servants.
I know life is not a catwalk but it ain’t a walk in a lunatic asylum either. (And it can’t help that their vans resemble the vehicles used by Barnum and Bailey to stuff all those clowns in.)

Could it be the animals?
I would think the Postman’s worst enemy is a householder’s dog.
A dog is supposed to protect and guard his master’s abode.
If you think of it from his point of view, he sees a strangely garbed human walking with a sheaf of envelopes. Now poor doggy doesn’t know if he is going to set them alight and torch the place. Or this strange stranger could be using that bunch of envelopes to whack his master over the head leaving doggy with no Purina Dog Chow which is great tasting and tailored to his specific dietary needs.
I know I’d be upset.
And so the dog reacts, the way any of us would really, and tries to chomp the heck out of our Postman.
Text Colour
Could it be the catalogues?
Darn, those things are heavy.
I don’t think they would mind delivering them that much if they were appreciated. But don’t think Mr Postman doesn’t see piles of the ghastly things sitting in your recycling bin! He sees every single one, knows that they are recent and knows that his back breaking labour was for nought. He knows there are hardly any forests left and the whole ozone is falling down as a result and yet you can’t be bothered to read the catalogues.
Shame on you.

In the US could it be because of the extra four digit zip codes?
In the UK could it be because the numbers of the houses don’t follow up normally?

Do you think they cram all the mail into the post box, until they resemble Oliver North’s documents, on purpose?
Could it be because of braving the elements?
Too much exposure to sunlight or car fumes?

Is the pressure just too much?
Is that why they end up at the top of a watchtower shooting up all and sundry?

Here in the UK, a person making a simcha doesn’t even have to send out invitations. All they have to do is call up people a week before the shin-dig and ask them if they received the invitation. People will assume that the invites got lost in the post, which happens here all the time. In fact, last year the Hendon and Finchley Times reported that most of the mail from my area ended up in a nearby lake because the mail carrier couldn’t be bothered to deliver it. Okay, so that guy was prosecuted but in his wake we got a guy who gives my post to other people and gives me their stuff.
Growing up in the States also afforded me plenty of opportunities to sing the requiem that is ‘missing mail’.

They don’t say, “Your check is in the post” for nothing, ya know: Because it’s a 50/50 chance whether it will ever arrive or not.
Most likely, your check is not in the post, but rather ;
your post is in the Czech’.

I couldn’t tell you why Postmen go insane.
I can only tell you that they don’t contribute an awful lot to the mental health of society.
Well, at least not to mine.

31 Comments:

At 9:54 PM, Blogger Chana said...

Our postman (or mailman, or mail carrier, on this side of the pond) ;) is a super friendly guy. We say hi to each other all the time. Once I groused (not meaning to be nasty) about all the junk mail he was giving me and he said, "yeah, but it pays the bills". And I thought, you know, the poor guy probably hears that all day, so whoever told him to say that did him a huge favor!

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger kishmech said...

mine's a ghost, I come home and the post is on the mat. They get a free fitness routine with their job. Ever seen these guys lower leg muscles.

 
At 12:26 AM, Blogger RaggedyMom said...

You are such a riot!!

My mailman's name is Tom, and he looks to be close to retirement age. He's very friendly and sweet, although he once invited himself in to a friend's house for a cold drink. Needless to say, I'm cordial but on guard with Tom.

Lately I think the post offices and mail delivery routes around here are being taken over by Chinese people. Odd to see such a big turnaround.

 
At 2:24 AM, Blogger TRW said...

Here, I've decided that the New York postmen actually have something against me. Bills, etc., I get, all the time, but letters from real people (yes, I write - and recieve - the occasional letter) are going into someone else's pocket.

Oh - and the first time I went to a post office here? I asked them to mail something to Baltimore. Their response - and I kid you not: "What country is Baltimore in?"

Oh dear..

 
At 4:36 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

i guess postmen have such a responsibility and it's hard to live up to!

and with the traffic these days and security fences and gates and things... that's definitely stressful.

lol

 
At 6:59 AM, Blogger Jewish Smörgåsbord said...

Well, have you even seen "the devil wears Prada"? This is how real life of an Executive Assistant can be and mine was for four years just like that or worse - so definitely put that on your list of most stressful jobs.

My postman is also a ghost. The post arrives some where mid morning and is delivered to my door. Once I was sick home and all of the sudden something fell down, when I went to see what it was, it was my mail. Weird thought to know that the mail-guy is right now outside my apartment and I have no clue who he is. Well as Kishmech says, he´s a ghost.....

 
At 10:14 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

That was too good.
Poor Jewish waiters, I never realized.
I'll try to be more patient next time.

Poor postman.
You forgot to mention the walking miles with the same uniform whether it's freezing cold, raining or that third possibility, windy.
I have got to say that using the mailman, as an excuse doesn't work here.
The post is delivered timely and efficiently.
You decide if that’s good or bad.

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

You could have called this posting:

Kasamba Goes Postal

 
At 10:32 AM, Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

And of course...you know who my favorite postman of all time is?

Whats his name from Cheers.

:-)

 
At 10:52 AM, Blogger the_laamb said...

its becuase they get up to early and sleep with to many married women.

 
At 1:16 PM, Blogger Nemo said...

Isn't it scary that the postman also knows each and every homes darkest secrets and financial status. He knows what magazines you read, which web sites are billing you, who you vote for and even if your haven't returned your library books.

Maybe it's impossible to see all the ills of the world and not be tempted to go postal?

 
At 1:53 PM, Blogger It's All Good Now said...

How about them having to keep track of so many names used by the same family? There's one for welfare, another for Section-8, another for SSI, another for food stamps, etc...

 
At 2:54 PM, Blogger tafka PP said...

Two postmen on my street. Young hottie and older gentleman. Guess which one I always bump into.

 
At 6:15 PM, Blogger exsemgirl said...

The English post is truthfully a touch and go thing!

But yeah I always wonder how the postman gets checked-no1 would know if they didnt post a few catalogues so it is not surprising that they do what they like!

 
At 8:48 PM, Blogger BagelUndertheCouch said...

wow, telelmarketing...the worst 3 weeks of my life where i almost had an emotional breakdown after an old lady bawled me out for not calling her "mrs." but "mizz"....oh the cringing memories...

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

lol...actually..I think manning a toll booth is worse..

 
At 4:46 AM, Blogger Bas~Melech said...

Yes, I'd have to agree with David-- I've done some telemarketing for tsedakah, and it was awful, but at least people can hang up if they don't like you. But everyone needs to go through the toll. This is why in NY we have EZ-pass ;)

our mailman isn't a ghost, I catch a glimpse of him sometimes, but I never know when he'll come. I always used to think mail came in the morning, until the year I was home all day. I don't live on the ground floor, so I used to go up and down all afternoon checking... not that I expected anything exciting!

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

do you tip your mail/postman?
is it insulting to drop a fiver or tenspot?

 
At 5:08 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Wow you surprise me how you come up with this stuff lol. I analyze to no end and would never think of this postal stuff. Also it is known that guys in toll booths must have stress being all alone and statistics show they have high rate of suicide.

 
At 7:32 PM, Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

lol, I agree, they do look like umpa loompas. Our mail comes either early afternoon or evening. And they try to stuff everything into our small mailbox. lol

 
At 11:02 PM, Blogger Moiy-rah said...

kasamba, i think you really want to be a postwoman. deep down, i know you like those knee socks, lol.

-moiy

 
At 2:55 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

Can you do a post on the impact of becks coming to LA?

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger Amishav said...

Ah,Kasamba- you have a way of making something interesting out of nothing! Thanks for giving me a chuckle.

 
At 6:30 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Chana:
Good answer!

Kish:
LOL!
Too true!

RaggedyMom:
Be wary of Tom!

TRW:
'Oh dear' is right!

Sarah:
Oh, my heart bleeds!

JSmorg:
Maybe he's a leprachaun?

Prag:
It totally depends!

Jameel:
LOL!
Of course I remember! A long lost relation perhaps?

The Laamb:
Could be!

 
At 6:34 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Nemo:
Sounds like it!

It's all good Now:
Oooooh, burn!

Tafka:
Your luck!

Exsem:
It really is touch and go!

Bagel under Couch:
Oh no!!!

David:
You might be right!

Knaidel:
I adore EZ pass!
Limey:
I only tip for xmas!

Socialworker:
Suicide is easy for them; thye just have to step in front of a car...

Lvnsm:
So, you know!

MoiyrAH:
Maybe...

Limey:
Uh, nope.

Amishav:
Pleasure!

 
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