Thursday, December 14

This Post is Smokin’

Whoever invented smoking should be shot.
Oh, it’s too late, they’ve already rotted centuries ago with lungs that probably looked like my first attempt at pottery in a too hot kiln.

I don’t think I would mind people smoking if they didn’t exhale. It always seems to me that people take two puffs from their cigarette and then hold the cigarette away from them, allowing the fumes to creep up on me and ruin whichever sheitel I was unlucky enough to be donning.
Oh, didn’t you know?
Smoking Kills…. Sheitels.
They don’t write that on the package do they?
Apparently, it didn’t occur to the Surgeon General to put that as a warning to the public. Apparently my purchased hair means nothing to him, or the smokers themselves. But, to be fair; if smokers don’t care about their own unborn babies, they certainly won’t give a fig about my poor wig.

When exposed to smoke, the sheitel hair swells up; absorbing the smoke and the smell, removing whatever shine the hair had. Too much exposure will leave it lifeless and frizzy, which incidentally is exactly happens to the smokers themselves, as they too become lifeless and frizzy.

Have you ever seen the before and after photos of lungs pre and post smoking? The virgin lungs are pristine and a healthy shade of pink, while the smokers lungs look like a lump of coal that was excavated from the Great Fire of London. I’m not even going to mention nicotine staining on teeth and fingers and the fact that a die-hard smoker (hah! Get it?) has the skin comparable to a bark of a tree. When a smoker talks, they rasp and rattle when they breathe.
So, that should make one think, ‘do the filters work?’

But as for the rest us, victims of the addicted, what happens to us, besides stinky sheitels? Every time I go to Paris where the meal costs more than the ticket to go there, as soon as someone inevitably lights up, everything tastes the same; ash.
Tres expensive ash.
I actually came across a T-shirt that said ‘Quit smoking- find out what food tastes like’.
The icing on the crème brulee is that we come home smelling like a cannibal’s hors douvres; completely smoked and tenderised. This is despite my best efforts in trying to halt the smokers’ quest to pollute my air. I try to appeal to their human kindness; that special place in their soul that makes them weep when hearing about suffering llamas in Argentina. So, I start off hemming and hawing and move on to hocking and broching and coughing so loud that even the Parisian taxi drivers outside are awakened from their trance like stupors. Mr Kasamba finds my behaviour excruciating because all it does is make the Frenchies stare, lips pursed while their cigarettes continue to perfume my world.

What I can’t understand is, what is so wonderful about smoking that makes people put their enjoyment before the health and welfare of the rest of us? The sad thing is that it’s not just the non smokers who come into random contact with smokers who suffer, but the vulnerable ones condemned by fate to be around smokers most of the time.
The poor innocent children.

Now, as a eminent warbler once sang, ‘I believe that children are our future’. Just what kind of future do children of smokers have? I have seen people smoke a foot away from their newborn baby, and I have seen them smoke while propping their children on their knee. When I was last in the airport I witnessed a set of parents wheel their tiny baby into the smoking section provided by Heathrow. I could barely believe my eyes. Evidently, they did not want to leave their child just outside of the enclosure, because it wouldn’t be safe.
Sure, that makes sense.

Have you ever seen the smoking section at Heathrow? It looks like a see through stand up coffin with clear panels so you can watch people kill themselves slowly. At the time the concerned parents stepped in there, there was so much smoke I was waiting for Sherlock Holmes and Watson to step out from the mist. It disturbed me so much that I went up to the nearest airport representative and asked her if she could say something to these 'parents of the year'. She obviously said that she couldn’t but that the smoking section would soon be a thing of the past as smoking will banned from public places in England altogether. Yee ha!

The only positive side that I can say about smoking is; if you do smoke in your car, you never have to pay extra for tinted windows.

I will leave you with the words of the great philosopher Rosanne Barr,
“Be nice to smokers, they don’t have long to live.”


At 9:13 AM, Blogger BagelUndertheCouch said...

lucky for me, most of the residents in idaho are mormon or fiercely hippy, new-age-ish, so you don't see a lot of heavy smokers in this neck of the woods.

there is smoke, however...though it's more of a...purplish color...

At 10:25 AM, Blogger westbankmama said...

The worst is when the kids start to imitate smoking (with those awful bubblegum cigarettes) because it looks "cool". My husband and I then tell them about all of the awful things you mentioned (yellow teeth, not being able to taste the food, and more importantly to young boys - how it keeps you from doing well in sports).

At 1:33 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Tres Tres Great Punch Line!!
You had me rollin' right through, Bebe!!


At 1:34 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Bagel -


At 1:39 PM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

excellent post - smokers take notice!

At 2:25 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

great post.. but..i grew up with it all around me, everyone smoked.. so it doesnt bother me that much
and your right,those smoking rooms are HORRIBLE. standing coffin is the perfect descrpition :)

one of the worse things i remember from 'my younger days' is that smell you wake up to sunday morning. your face in your pillow, first breath of.. stinky smoky hair.. yuck!

At 4:04 PM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said... hold no punches...

Good for you..I cant stand being near smokers..

Although I think they serve a purpose.
I think after 12o when Hashem will say How could you do all those aveiros when you knew how bad it was for you..I'll point to the smokers and say ..Look what an addiction can the face of tangible black lungs..and death...
I dont know if itll

At 9:11 PM, Blogger Mia said...

In Stockholm smoking is luckily forbidden in all public places and it is truly fantastic - specially if you have asthma like me!

At 11:05 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

nothing like a good hooka bar

At 1:56 AM, Blogger Nemo said...

Kasamba, I think that you've isolated a lot of your readers... that's why its so quiet here. Either that or they went outside to smoke.

At 1:57 AM, Blogger Nemo said...

... at your behest of course!

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Ariella said...

Excellent post. I hate being forced to inhale the smoke from smokers, particularly when they congregate just outside the doorway of a building I have to pass through

At 6:38 PM, Blogger Shopaholic said...

I saw a great add on billboard once
it had a picture of a cemetary on it and in big black letters it said SMOKING SECTION.
I know this girl who's husband smokes (he told he'll stop when they got married...well he didnt really) she said kissing a guy who smokes is like licking and ash- try! yuk. He has now finally quit after she had a baby.

At 9:15 PM, Blogger Tzvi Meir said...

Great post. Good for you!

At 11:44 PM, Blogger Sara with NO H said...

Gut voch lol. I've never heard of the sheitl murder when it came to smoking. I really ought to keep that in mind when I get married. I usd to work in an office where they allowed smoking in the building. I actually think it's illegal in all of NY but when you've got an office full of smokers I guess the law doesn't mean much. I can't stand that smoke floating by when they sit there and let it burn. They made these new ones that if you don't smoke it for like 30 seconds they automatically go out. You see chassidish guys mumbling "oh shit...not again" when they walk down the block. I happen to get a huge kick out of it lol.

At 11:47 PM, Blogger Sara with NO H said...

oh and p.s for limey, actually the hookah smoke doesn't smell the same as regular tobacco. It smells like strawberries and vanilla and stuff. I've been in those places and it's like walking into the smell of tea and incense.

At 12:17 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

At least they're happy!

I know,
I'm so scared for my kids!

Thanks Dahling!

I hope they do!

I hate stinky hair!

True and scary!

You're lucky you don't live here then!

Limey: I wouldn't know!

Such sissies!

I hate that too!

That's a great ad!


Sara with no H:
LOL! That's so funny!

At 8:56 PM, Blogger RR said...

I agree with you 100%. Smoking is the most vile, odious habit and I'm jealous that they're pretty much banning it where you are- I wish they'd do that here!

At 7:58 AM, Blogger Microsoft Office 2007 said...

NEVERTHELESS, THE CIVIL LAW is and must be neutral about who has a more noble or rewarding faith. The breakaway parishes ought to win every Office 2010facet of the lawsuit not becauseMicrosoft Office 2010 their beliefs or their politics are better, Microsoft wordbut because both lawOffice 2007and equity, along with common sense, are on Microsoft Officetheir side.Microsoft Office 2007 Not only does Virginia state law (the Division Statute)Office 2007 keyexplicitly apply to just such a Office 2007 downloadsituation as now exists, but the history Office 2007 Professionalespecially of The Falls Church argues against the claims of Outlook 2010the Virginia Diocese with which theyMicrosoft outlookhave disassociated.Microsoft outlook 2010First, The Falls Church wasWindows 7 founded, formed, and developed long before the diocese, or the national Episcopal Church, even existed.

At 4:14 AM, Blogger 林磊 said...

Lerbron James Shoes For Sale
michael kors uk
louis vuitton outlet online
Michael Kors Handbags Outlet
Abercrombie and Fitch Outlet
Christian Louboutin Outlet Authentic sneakers
Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet
coach outlet
ray-ban sunglasses,ray ban sunglasses,ray bans,rayban,ray ban wayfarer,raybans,ray ban glasses,ray ban aviators,ray ban clubmaster,ray ban eyeglasses,cheap ray bans,ray bans sunglasses,ray ban aviator,ray bands,fake ray bans,ray ban prescription glasses,ray ban outlet,ray ban canada,ray ban sunglasses sale,ray ban sale
michael kors uk
ugg boots sale
nike trainers
Louis Vuitton Handbags Outlet Stores
louis vuitton handbags
uggs sale
cheap ugg boots
canada goose jackets
Ralph Lauren UK
hollister uk sale
Hollister Cheap Hollister Clothing Outlet Store
Mont Blanc Pens
Louis Vuitton Handbags Discount
michael kors outlet
ugg outlet
Coach Outlet Discount Sale

At 5:37 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

ninest123 12.31
tory burch outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton outlet, burberry outlet online, louboutin, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, burberry, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, louboutin shoes, michael kors, polo ralph lauren outlet, chanel handbags, oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, longchamp outlet, uggs on sale, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, nike outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton, nike free, tiffany and co, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, replica watches, longchamp, prada outlet, replica watches, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton, nike air max, tiffany jewelry, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet

At 5:39 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

michael kors, ralph lauren uk, nike air max, converse pas cher, vanessa bruno, true religion outlet, vans pas cher, ralph lauren pas cher, coach purses, ray ban uk, abercrombie and fitch, nike air max, nike free, new balance pas cher, nike free run uk, true religion jeans, hermes, oakley pas cher, nike roshe run, ray ban pas cher, air force, michael kors, mulberry, nike air max, nike blazer, hogan, lacoste pas cher, burberry, air max, air jordan pas cher, sac longchamp, longchamp pas cher, coach outlet, north face, tn pas cher, michael kors, michael kors, north face, true religion jeans, longchamp, nike roshe, sac guess, hollister, nike trainers, louboutin pas cher, replica handbags, hollister pas cher, nike huarache, true religion jeans, timberland, lululemon

At 5:41 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

mcm handbags, north face outlet, soccer jerseys, nike roshe, beats by dre, nike air max, nfl jerseys, converse, bottega veneta, ghd, ray ban, asics running shoes, ralph lauren, mac cosmetics, iphone 5s cases, ferragamo shoes, soccer shoes, baseball bats, iphone 6s plus cases, iphone cases, s5 cases, wedding dresses, north face outlet, jimmy choo shoes, vans shoes, vans, reebok shoes, birkin bag, new balance, hollister, instyler, celine handbags, herve leger, mont blanc, iphone 6 cases, valentino shoes, p90x workout, ipad cases, louboutin, giuseppe zanotti, babyliss, chi flat iron, iphone 6s cases, iphone 6 plus cases, abercrombie and fitch, gucci, hollister, oakley, nike air max, timberland boots, lululemon, insanity workout

At 5:43 AM, Blogger ninest123 Ninest said...

louis vuitton, canada goose, karen millen, pandora charms, moncler, converse outlet, pandora jewelry, links of london, canada goose, wedding dresses, lancel, moncler, canada goose uk, supra shoes, replica watches, moncler outlet, hollister, toms shoes, doke gabbana outlet, canada goose, doudoune canada goose, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, moncler, ugg boots uk, canada goose, louis vuitton, ugg pas cher, swarovski, barbour, pandora jewelry, marc jacobs, moncler, bottes ugg, louis vuitton, moncler, louis vuitton, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose outlet, montre pas cher, barbour jackets, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, moncler, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, thomas sabo, swarovski crystal, moncler, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia
nienst123 12.31

At 10:12 AM, Blogger Jack H said...

Packers and Movers Pune
Packers and Movers Viman Nagar
Packers and Movers Kothrud
Packers and Movers Katraj
Packers and Movers Aundh
Packers and Movers Kalyani Nagar
Packers and Movers Hadapsar
Packers and Movers Pimpri Chinchwad
Packers and Movers in Pune

Residential Relocation Pune
Commercial Shifting Pune
Warehouse Storage Pune
Internation Relocation Pune
Car-Bike Transportation Pune
Packers and Movers from Pune

At 8:56 AM, Blogger Richika Sarkar said...

It is nice post
Visit Links:
Packers and Movers Mumbai
Packers and Movers Andheri
Packers and Movers Airoli
Packers and Movers Borivali
Packers and Movers Bandra
Packers and Movers Kalyan
Packers and Movers Kharghar
Packers and Movers Kandivali
Packers and Movers Thane

Home Shifting
Vehicle Shifting
Corporate Shifting

At 8:47 AM, Blogger 柯云 said...

lebron 13
michael kors outlet clearance
ray ban outlet
oakley vault
replica rolex watches
adidas superstar shoes
louis vuitton outlet online
nfl jerseys
michael kors outlet online
kate spade
adidas yeezy
concord 11
polo ralph lauren
true religion outlet
oakley sunglasses outlet
ray ban sunglasses outlet
nike blazers shoes
air jordan shoes
adidas outlet store
giuseppe zanotti sneakers
juicy couture
jordan 6s
pandora charms
christian louboutin wedges
jordans for sale
michael kors outlet
ray bans
oakley sunglasses wholesale
adidas running shoes
cheap toms
coach outlet online
true religion outlet
ray bans
nike outlet
louis vuitton purses
cheap jordans
coach outlet store online clearances
oakley sunglasses
louboutin shoes

At 4:43 PM, Blogger omar ali said...

Thanks for supplying this info


Post a Comment

<< Home

My blog is worth $12,419.88.
How much is your blog worth?

<< List
Jewish Bloggers
Join >>