Tuesday, November 14


I always looked foward to covering my hair. For me it was a right of passage that meant I was in the big leagues.
It meant I was married.
Sadie the Married Lady.

When I first got hitched, I was so excited that I didn't have to pachka with my hair every morning and I could just dump on my purchased hair.

Yeah, that feeling lasted for about a month until I discovered that although sheitels look great when they are just done; that great look only lasts until you get in your car. Unless of course you spray them into submission, which will only them look more like a helmet from World War 2 or something you purchased in a Disney shop.

How your hair looks under a sheitel is a fundamental component to looking normal:
(re; like a person wearing hair instead of something that died.
In a cage.
In a zoo.)

-If your own hair is too thick and curly your sheitels will sort of hover above your head resembling the Jackson five before their haircuts.

-If your hair is too long and you put it up in a ponytail, you will end up with a bump at the back of your head making you look like an alien from the planet Zork.

But if you were blessed with rubbishy thin hair, you will look amazing in a sheitel.

I think that’s just the universe evening the score for all the women who cried that their hair was too thin while the rest of us with our thick medusa tresses flicked it in their faces. It is the ultimate cosmic joke.
Yeah, you can guess what hair I have.
Oh lucky me. Not.

I always say that good sheitels are Hidur Mitzvah, similar to a beautiful esrog except of course, you don’t have to pay to have an esrog washed and set and jam made out of hair is just gross.

I adore Chani, my Sheitel Macher.
I have the best time choosing my wigs because she lets me try on everything.
Which I do.
She actually has a website: www.sheitel.com

I love it that us Sheitel wearers can peg each other after just one glance.
It’s almost as if we have a secret club.

A few years after I was married I went to a women’s symposium. Anyone could ask any question on any subject to the panel. One woman stood up and asked, “Aren’t the sheitels nowadays too glamorous? Don’t they go against what sheitels stand for?” The panel proceeded to call glamorous sheitels untznuis for attracting attention. Hearing this, I couldn’t stay quiet anymore (surprised?) so I stood up and said,

With all due respect to the esteemed panel (I had to shmear them a little bit.), I feel that since it may have been some time (we’re talking the ice age) since the panel has had to put a sheitel on for the first time, they might have forgotten what it feels like for a newlywed to put one on initially. Maybe they have forgotten the wish to use anything available (forks, chopsticks, twigs) to alleviate the itching.” I went on to say, “I think before you judge people who wear fancy wigs, think of this: when the wind is blowing through your natural hair, you look gorgeous and feel great. When the wind blows through your sheitel, you hold on for dear life.

It's not always easy to do this mitzvah, therefore there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best while you do it.”
By then the room descended into utter chaos, all semblance of civility gone with the wind of my comments.

Every Sheitel wearer has good Sheitel days. Mine came when a Lubavitch woman carrying candlesticks approached me in the mall and asked me if I was Jewish. I beamed as I pointed to my head and shrieked, “Sheitel!” to which she replied, “Wow, that’s a good one”. I was on a high for months.

I crack up when people ask me “Is that your hair?”
I say, “Of course it is, I paid for it!”

And on the plus side;
I never have to worry how my hair’s going to look the next day,
I just look across the room and there it is!


At 4:43 PM, Blogger Y.Y. said...

hmmmmmmmmmm FIRST!!!!!!!!!!
however this topic isnt any of my business sooooooo see you next time

At 7:08 PM, Blogger Jack's Shack said...

hair today, gone tomorrow.

At 7:09 PM, Blogger Amishav said...

Yes, its nice to not be the next to last commenter for a change! As far as wearing the sheitel goes I suppose that it must be nice from a convenience point of view to not be required to torment your locks into unnatural poses. This is awhy I keep my own hair relatively short- its just easier to get going in the morning.

At 7:28 PM, Blogger Ezzie said...

LOL. :::sigh::: I guess all women have the same outlook on this...

At 7:31 PM, Blogger RR said...

Wow, I'm usually near the end of the pack as well, nice to be near the beginning for a change!

And now I realize I actually don't have anything to say...except great post as usual, Sadie! Good job tackling what is often a very "hairy" topic!

At 7:37 PM, Blogger nuch a chosid said...

geting a "shpitzel" is an option ;)

At 7:42 PM, Blogger Tzvi Meir said...

ROFL that was cute.Quite a few years ago when the style was the hairspray one, a black woman commented to my moms friend that all Jewish women have "such nice full hair".SNORT. anyway i fall into the category of long thin hair but it is pinned all the way up so its flat and sheitel falls quite nicely on my head. i did chop it right before i got married and boy was it a mechaye.One downside of sheitels, is the thinning of hair though. Uch.

At 7:43 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

dont tell me you fly to Crown Heights to set your sheitel...
i use brochelle when i'm in london

At 8:39 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Hee Hee!
Great one!
btw - i'm so jealous you know how to do links IN YOUR BLOG!!! you never told me!!!!!

At 8:39 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Hee Hee!
Great one!
btw - i'm so jealous you know how to do links IN YOUR BLOG!!! you never told me!!!!!

At 8:43 PM, Blogger SJ said...

Is wearing a sheitel really that bad? I don't have to cover my hair yet, but iy"H it won't be many years before I do...and I'm nervous! I like my hair! I like my hair long! Very long! And thick! I don't want to cut it off! Do you know if there's a sheitel support group out there? Just wondering, you know, cuz it's good to be prepared in advance...

At 10:16 PM, Blogger RaggedyMom said...

Let me just say that I am becoming quite the admirer of 'the way you see it!' Great post! I grew up never imagining I would cover my hair, and it's still quite thick and long-ish. I've tried to thin it out a bit actually to make it easier to get under a sheitel, but like a weed, it keeps popping back. I agree that cover hair can be difficult, and I think it should be an individual thing - if you look good, and feel good, it makes it easier. As long as it does not cross the line to overly sexy, why not?

At 11:00 PM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

oh, so much to look forward to (one day).

(sj: i'm with you! support group needed. some people like their curls.)

At 12:49 AM, Blogger RaggedyMom said...

sj, ~Sarah~, while I can't speak for everyone, and while I love to complain with the rest of 'em, let me say that before I got married, my hair was the main thing people associated me with - I was "the girl with the curly red hair" - a nice head of hair, too, if I do say so myself. It was a big change psychologically to no longer identify my personality with "the hair," and took getting used to. BUT, it was actually not as difficult as I imagined, my hair is all still there and still the same, and in a way I'm glad to have taken a step back from a physical thing that defined me. I'd be honored to be a member/adviser for the support group!

At 2:07 AM, Blogger Sara with NO H said...

How funny! Its weird to see this post right after I had a dream last night about wearing a sheitl. It was the weirdest dream too. I'm actually going to miss doing my hair. A pony sheitl never really looks the same as the real thing. Or the occasional half up half down ones. Someone once told me ponys are only for virgins and retarted people though. I'm gonna shutup now lol

At 2:12 AM, Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

My hair is thick and I always wanted it to be a little thinner because it looks nicer on me. Now I have another reason. Hopefully it'll work out when it's time.

At 2:52 AM, Blogger chaverah said...

I am one of lucky ones (or unlucky ones) with thick hair. OY! now its a nightmare to cover......I cant stand shaitels. oh well.

At 3:44 AM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

lol...was fun reading...
dont have much to add...

At 4:07 AM, Blogger torontopearl said...

I am not a sheitel wearer...but I do like to observe them on others.

I have a little trouble not with sheitels but with "falls"--THEY really look like your hair isn't covered, hairband with it or not. I also don't think that a "fall" caters to a short-haired woman; I've only seen shoulder-length hair falls -- usually straight hair -- as well.

At 6:25 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

thanks raggedymom! :)

At 8:22 AM, Blogger Mia said...

There are many days where I just wish I could wear a sheitel - this was until now (or your last post about sheitels). I never knew it was such an itching business! Now I am off to your sheitel website :)

At 10:53 AM, Blogger the only way i know said...

about ponytails - hmmm
i have 5 kids - so dont come into the virgin category - lol
but i wear a great ponytail sometimes with a windblown kinda look - loose strands -
and when i do - and I'm with my kids, people ask if I'm the older sister - which is great.
Then there are the long glam ones - which are great for that sophisticated manhattan feeling - or for a night out..
and then there's the 'run around' one - which you wear when you didnt have time to take it off - between grocery shopping and running to the computer to blog -

At 11:52 AM, Blogger kishmech said...

I love my sheitel, I wish i wasn't lazy.....and could wear it every day because yeah.....when I look bloody good, i feel bloody good. Doesn't take an einstein there.

nuch a chosid - shpitzel as you can see.....is Sooooo noooot an option. Chaverah - I have thick hair and i manage to put it up with out showing a bump. Helps if you're wearing a long wig.

Oh to have been a fly on the wall at that gathering.


My unfunny version of similar topic, kassie...you do it so much better!

At 1:34 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

What an interesting way to broach a topic that we do not read much about.

Some hair covers, and sheitels are beautiful, even better looking than the hair!

There definitely are advantages, time saving being one.

Have a good day.

At 6:14 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

whats with all the thick haired women?! i cant waiiiiiit to cover my hair.. but no sheitels for me .. thye kind of give me the creeps when i see them on someones dresser.. :)

At 6:51 PM, Blogger SJ said...

raggedymom - thanks, I might hold you to that one day!

At 6:58 PM, Blogger HanginUp said...

I resent having to cover my hair - I really do but my husband would just kill me if I decided to uncover - I have learned that I have to pick my battles. I understand that hair covering is a law that is written in torah so it's an important one ... it's just not an easy one.

At 8:04 PM, Blogger Scraps said...

My hair is going to be a pain to cover, in more ways than one, but I still wouldn't dream of not doing it. I doubt I'll have such a nice sheitel, though; there's no way my parents would pay for it, and I can't afford it on my own.

I like what you told the panel, though. :)

At 8:07 PM, Blogger Karl said...

There is always a sheitel out there for everyone. If you hadn't seen this link already, its worth checking out!

At 11:40 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

scraps when the time comes for you to cover your hair, there'll be someone else around aside from you and your parents.. and he will have to pay for it :)

At 2:10 AM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Hillarious! I have very thick hair and I just relaxed it and it's still difficult to put under a sheitel. I do like my sheitels better than my natural hair. I am all for having beautiful sheitels.

At 4:14 PM, Blogger Pretty Green Eyes said...

This is one of the reasons i'm not looking forward to getting married! I have long straight thin hair and i like my hair and i can't cover itttt!!! Imagine having something on your head the WHOLE time (or when you're out anyway)it freaks me out!
Ahh just talking about it is enough to get me nervous!

Btw kishmech- yours is pretty damn good!

At 9:13 PM, Blogger Shopaholic said...

OMG this post is soooooo how it is. I fall into the thick- long -hair- pony catagory....you know thAT newlywed that has a bump at the back of her sheitel that sitcks out waaaayyy past her hehind?! yeah, well thats me! I'm t the one that has a bald spot at the front of her forhead from the clips that give me a headach and ich like crazy just to keep the thing on!! oh! and don't even try to go near glasses and a sheitel the two just don't go at all, I've pretty much given up and and however it looks in front i'm sure it looks just as nice in the back!!
oh and I forgot to tell you, thats just my fall...I'M NOT EVEN GONNA START ON MY FULL/SHABBOS WIG!! which cost double the price and gives me more greif TO ONLY WEAR FOR A FEW HOURS ON SHABBOS!!

ain't it just great to be a JEWISH WOMEN?!?

At 9:37 PM, Blogger Jessica said...

your blog always puts a smile on my face...love the honesty! I always thought it would be pretty glamorous to wear a sheitel too, but now that I'm actually imagining trying to stuff my own thick hair beneath it, the reality sets in...

At 10:19 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

The best is when you go thru airport security and it beeps because of a thick metal clip and the female security guard comes over and says "dont worry honey i wont tell!"

At 10:31 PM, Blogger Jameel @ The Muqata said...

Qasamba: Here's a posting from a year ago about Sheitels.

(Though karl's video was pretty good as well)

At 1:12 AM, Blogger cruisin-mom said...

kasamba: and I learn yet another lesson from you. I never even heard of the sheitel until I landed in this world of blogging...of course you make it all so hysterical. Thanks for the lesson.

At 2:32 AM, Blogger Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Oh... I had a good laugh reading this! But don't complain too much, thank god he didn't land you a shpitzle! (and an army haircut underneath)

At 5:51 PM, Blogger Bonnie B said...

I say look as glamorous as you can-- just don't look like Dolly Parton, please-- or a crazy rock star. But pretty "hair" is a good thing.

At 10:25 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

You are always number 1 to me!

Jacks Sahck:
Ain't that the truth!

And it suits you!

We do!


Nuch a Chussid:
Not for me!

I wish mine would thin!

Is that for a sheitel or a toupe???

I really don't!

Oh, it's not sooo bad!

Raggedy Mom:
Too true!
We are more than just our hair!

I'll be there for you!

Sara with no H:
May your dreams come true!

It will!

I hear ya, sister!

But thanks for stopping by!

Toronto Pearl:
To each their own!

It only itches in the beginning!

At 10:30 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

You do look bloddy good!


I love my 'girls' they keep me company!

What a shame to feel that way! But you'll get an ever greater reward!

You could make one from your beautiful hair!

LOL! That was a hoot!

Good for you!

Pretty Green Eyes:
You'll look great!

Yup, it is!!!
I miss you!!!


How do you know this?

I'm afraid Karls was better!

Culture shock, eh?

LOL!! True!!

I'll try!

At 3:07 AM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

who knew there were so many sheitel videos :)


At 4:50 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...


(adds to the mystique of limey)

At 7:27 AM, Blogger table nine said...

As a thick & curly, I am so the 6th member of the Jackson Five. Although I have to admit, I'm incredibly grateful to my European Multi-directional when humidity strikes, and when Shabbos rolls around!

At 12:12 AM, Blogger Deborah Shaya said...

Hair Coverings – It is time to UnCover

I am writing to raise a simple and very important question:

Where is the codified Halacha that a married woman must cover all her hair, all the time, whenever she steps out of her house, whether it is summer or winter?

There is NO CODIFIED HALACHA that a married woman must cover her hair totally and constantly whenever she steps out of her house.

The halachah has been totally MISINTERPRETED, and in fact, relates ONLY to a married woman covering her hair when she lights the candles to welcome in Shabbat and Yom Tov – lechavod Shabbat ve Yom Tov, and when she goes to the Synagogue.

Therefore, for religious men/women to impose hair coverings on other women, whenever they step out of their houses is against the Torah. This misinterpretation of the Torah is completely ASSUR, and a TWISTING of the Torah.

In ancient times, a woman would only cover her hair upon entering the Beit Hamikdash. Similarly for the Sotah - otherwise she would not cover her hair ordinarily, day to day.

It is very important for people to know and realise that when a married woman covers her hair with 'REAL HAIR' the woman is covering herself with 100%TUMAH. This is TOTALLY AGAINST the Torah AND IS 100% ASSUR.

She can never fully be sure that this 'hair' has not come from MEITIM - despite any guarantee by the seller.

This 'real hair' is doubly and in some circumstances, triply TUMAH. FIRSTLY, it will contain the leftover dead hair cells from another person - however much it has been treated, the tumah is still there.

SECONDLY, this other person (likely to be a non-Jew who most likely was involved in some kind of AVODAH ZARAH) may have eaten bacon, ham, lobster etc, all of which are totally forbidden as unclean and non-kosher foods in Halacha.

THIRDLY, if the woman happens to be the wife of a COHEN, then she is bringing her husband into close contact and proximity with meitim and Tumah Every day, and throughout their married life - clearly strictly against the Torah.

Men have degraded women in order to suit their own sexual desires and needs. Some men actually prefer to see their wives in wigs because they look more sexually attractive to them than their real hair.

There is nothing more degrading and demeaning to a woman than to make her cover her hair upon marriage. Frankly it is an abhorrent practice. By quoting feeble non-starter arguments like 'Tzniut' - 'Modesty' not backed up by clear Halacha, the Rabbis and Rebbetzins are making a complete MOCKERY of the Torah, and all the good values that they stand for.

It is extremely unhealthy and unhygienic for a woman to cover her hair constantly. The hair needs oxygen to breathe.

In addition, hair covering is a form of oppression to women by men, and doing so, can undoubtedly cause a certain type of depression in women, once their hair is covered so permanently for life. It is a vile and abhorrent practice.

A woman's hair will lose its natural beauty and shine, she may have scalp problems, some of her hair may fall out, she may get headaches, and she may end up cutting it short like a man, when she always wore it long, in order not to have too much discomfort from her hair covering.

Do you think that HaKadosh Baruch Hu commanded this of women? I can assure you that He did not.

The commmandments are not meant to cause so much repression and oppression in women.

The Goyim also look at us in disgust when they know that Jewish women cover their hair and wear wigs. They think that we are going against all the light and the beautiful principles that we, Am Yisrael, brought into the world.

And therefore, for a woman to start doing this nonsensical act of covering her hair, all the time, in all seasons and temperatures, is against the Torah, and is also a form of CHILLUL HASHEM. Exactly the opposite of all the arguments put forward for this unnecessary sacrifice.

For a married woman to cover her hair is a Chillul Hashem, and is in no way, a Kiddush Hashem.

It is also against all common sense, apart from anything else, otherwise why would Hashem have created women with hair on their heads in the first place?


To all the women reading this: Please think about all that I have said above. As there is NO HALACHAH for a married woman to constantly cover her hair once she steps out of her house, PLEASE have the intelligence and moral strength of character to remove your wigs, and hair coverings, other than to bring in Shabbat and Yom Tov, and to go to the Synagogue.

It is totally AGAINST THE TORAH for any married woman to be covering her hair constantly, ( e.g especially in the hot summer), when she steps out of her house. This is a MISREPRESENTATION and TWISTING of the Torah.


It is far better to admit a wrong and do Teshuvah now, whilst there is time, than to leave it until it is TOO LATE - AND TIME IS RUNNING OUT.

That is precisely why Yehuda was rewarded with the Malchut.

For a woman to cover her hair with REAL HAIR is to cover herself with complete TUMAH, and also against the Torah. If she happens to be the wife of a COHEN, then she is bringing her husband into close contact and proximity with meitim and Tumah every day - clearly strictly against the Torah.

Deborah Shaya,

London, England.

At 10:02 PM, Blogger batya said...

wow, i don't know from what perspective deborah shaya comes? the point about chava doesn't makes sense to me, chava wasn't a jewess...at any rate, i consider myself pretty modern, but i will always cover at least the crown of my head and tuck my hair in (such as with a hat) when i step outside of my house (i will not wear a kipa, of course!) inside my house, regardless of visitors, i do not feel obligated to cover any part of my head. as for the halacha of it all, the introduction in the book "hide and seek" by lynne meredith schreiber does a fairly good job of laying out the halacha, including the varying opinions, of this mitzvah.

At 12:02 AM, Blogger Deborah Shaya said...


I have correctly stated that the Halachah has been MISinterpreted - i.e. it has not been interpreted correctly.

When the Halachah refers to "Covering hair," it does not mean "Cover your hair with hair!" and "constantly for life." The Halachah is that:

A married woman is required to cover her hair when she lights the candles to welcome in Shabbat and Yom Tov – lechavod Shabbat ve Yom Tov - and when she goes to the Synagogue, because that is the place of Kedusha.

The Halacha does not require anything more from married women.

Rabbi Menachem Schneeersohn tz”l, gave the directive that a married woman must cover her head with a “sheitel.”This needs to be corrected. Rabbi Schneersohn a"h, was a Tzaddik, – but on this – he was, unfortunately not correct.

At 12:04 AM, Blogger Deborah Shaya said...

1. To all the women who are wondering about the sources:

We have all been created, "Betselem Elokim" - "in the image of Elokim."

This means that we have been given something called "intelligence." The source is the very first Parsha, Bereishit - 1:27.

It is time that people use the spark of intelligence and Kedusha with which Hashem has blessed them.

If your rabbi will tell you to go and jump into the depths of a glacier, would you do that too – and give me a source for it?

“According to the Zohar”, I should also be covering my hair with a wig when I have a bath. “According to the Zohar and the Gemara” and all the sources that have misinterpreted the Halachah, and MIStranslated the Zohar, I should also have been born with a WIG on my head.

Those who tell me about their sources which are incorrect, should also tell me about these “translations” and these “sources.”

Any man who makes such a ridiculous demand on his wife, or wife-to-be, should similarly also be required by his wife to wear: long white stockings, even in the summer; a fur streimel; grow a long beard; wear a black hat and coat constantly, and cover his face when he speaks to his wife.Wigs-“la perruque”- were merely a fashion item in the time of Louis XIV-they are not for the Jewish woman!

At 12:05 AM, Blogger Deborah Shaya said...

2.Remember that the Jewish women are very, very holy. They are much more holy than the men. Look at the exemplary behaviour of the women at Har Sinai.

The women never sinned at the Eigel, and so are greatly elevated. Many of the men, unfortunately, ran after a calf made out of a lump of gold – after they had just been given the Torah, and seen the greatest of all Revelations. The women refused to give their gold for the avodah zarah of the men.

The women were greatly elevated after such a wonderful display of Emunah, and they are regarded very highly in Shamayim.

That is why women are not even required to pray. They can pray at home on their own. Nor do women have to make up a minyan. That is how holy the Jewish women are. Men have to pray 3 times a day to remind them of their Creator.

The men are telling the women to put the hair of a non-Jewish woman who may have eaten things like snakes and sharks and alligators, and has prayed in churches, Buddist temples or Hindu temples : on their own Heads. They had better wake up.

If the men don’t want to wake up to the truth, and the true interpretation of the Halacha, the women will wake them up – whether they like it or not.

3. Many righteous women influenced their husbands for the good at the Chet Haeigel and at the time of Korach.

It was these righteous women who succeeded in bringing their husbands back to their senses. And because of these great women, the lives of their husbands were saved. Those men therefore turned away from the madness of avodah zarah, and the rebellion of Korach against Hashem’s choice of Aharon, as Cohen HaGadol.

At 12:06 AM, Blogger Deborah Shaya said...

4. Look at the Jewish women in history, and remember how holy they are.

(a) Yaakov, who was the greatest of the Avot, came to marry the 2 daughters of Lavan, Rachel and Leah. Lavan was not exactly a tzaddik. Yaakov went to Lavan, of all people, to marry his 2 daughters – not 1 daughter, but his 2 daughters. Nothing could be greater than that.

(b) Rut, who came from Moav, became the ancestor of David Hamelech.

(c ) Batya, the daughter of Paroh, was given eternal life because she rescued Moshe from the river. No one could have been more evil than Paroh.

(d) Devorah, was a Neviah, and also a Judge.

Women, who came from such adverse backgrounds, with wicked fathers – were able to become builders of Am Yisrael. That is how holy the women are, and how much more elevated they are than the men.

This was never the case with men. It never happened the other way round.

Don't tell me it is holy for me to wear a WIG! Hair over my hair. This is ridiculous!

Please Wake Up.

Use the spark of intelligence that Hakadosh Baruch Hu gave to you and blessed you with.

And give your wig back to your husband if you wear one.

5. Remember: Not a single “dayan” or “rabbi” has the slightest bit of interest in correcting the situation for the women. Therefore, the women will have to correct the situation …………………for……………….. themselves.

Whether you wish to accept the correction–which is true–is up to you. Are you going to live by the truth? Are you going to use the spark of intelligence that Hashem gave to you and all women? Or are you going to follow rabbis and dayanim who tell you to wear a wig in a Heat Wave–and you thank them for it as well?

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