Sunday, October 8

Sukkos in Casa Kasamba

As soon as I woke up to wind that whipped the hardy British evergreens into teetering bobble headed frenzies, I knew I not in Kansas anymore- Sukkos was coming.
Yeah!
Hoo Ya!

Sitting in huts in pseudo-tornado winds and torrential rain just to show how hardy and tough we are, Heaven Forbid we should have it unproblematic and pleasant and enjoy Sukkos out under the spring skies- oh no! We have to show that we do the Sukkah thing even when it’s not easy.
Tell me about it.

After all, wouldn’t it be just fabby-abulous to celebrate Sukkos at the same time as Pesach when it really happened, and then we could have all the matzoh mess out back in the Sukkah.
It would just be so much simpler.

When I was first married, we lived in a house with a built in Sukkah roof in the kitchen. It sounds like it should have been easy but it wasn’t because it was situated right by the oven, so that every time we needed to open the oven, everyone had to stand up and move the table. So, we started to build a proper outdoor Sukkah every year.

Now here is my issue:
Because the laws of England have been made by a bunch of inbred alcoholics, apparently people can move into any empty building and claim ‘squatters rights’. Therefore, every Sukkos morning I require one of my kids to open the Sukkah door for fear of finding a family of Armenians claiming ‘squatters rights’ in my Sukkah.

Every year I used to decorate my Sukkah with different themes. Not one of those themes ever included any one of Mrs. Santa’s dangly earrings, as I like to call the brightly coloured tinsel decorations. Anyhoo, as our family got bigger and our guest list expanded accordingly, we built a Sukkah that could accommodate a maximum of eighteen people.

The theme I chose for this Sukkah was the Far East.
I did this because Chazal tell us that after Avraham Avinu gave everything he had to Yitzchak, he again bestowed gifts on the children of Kesura. If Avraham gave everything he had to Yitzchak, how could he still have something to give to Kesuras offspring? The answer is of course, that knowledge is the only thing you can keep giving away. So the children of Kesura took this wisdom of Avraham’s and set out to the Far East.
And so, my Sukkah commemorates this.



Nah, not really- but it did sound good didn’t it?

Remember how I told you how Mr Kasamba travels to the Far East ALL THE TIME???
Well, I made all the decorations far Eastern because I just want him to feel comfortable in his Sukkah!
And you know what??? I never have to change the theme because the joke never gets old! (snort!)

So what that I have décor that might say,
Buddah loves me’?
It just compliments all seven hundred ‘Mizrach’ signs that my kids have brought home from school all these years!
Well, east is east!

Remember; Confucius says
‘He who sleeps in open Sukkah in London, sure to get wet’

26 Comments:

At 12:27 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

lol! hilarious :)
wish i could see the 'far east' theme... pictures?

Melbourne weather is a bit like London... it may look sunny but five minutes later there could be a downpour or gale force wind. He who slept in Sukkah did get wet.

(There are more sturdy buildings for squatters, no?)

chag sameach :)

 
At 1:22 AM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

building a suka is still a new thing for my family.. so we're still in the overkill cheezy xmas (and sometimes halloween)decoration stage.. i'm wondering tho, at what point can a bt's decorate their suka far eastern style without raising eyebrows? :)

 
At 2:03 AM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

So funny! Boy would I love to see a pic of your succah:). Enjoy!

 
At 2:13 AM, Blogger BagelUndertheCouch said...

an equally well-known confucian proverb:
"he who goes to bed with itchy bum shall wake with stinky fingers."
...just something to liven up the far-eastern-themed-sukkos convos.

 
At 5:06 AM, Blogger workingema said...

Poor you in rainy rainy England, while we in NY had nicey nicey weather:o)
And, btw, that thing you said about sitting in the Succah to show 'them' that "no matter what the weather, we'll put it together, and this is the way, we sit in the Succah each day!!" (I made that up) Well, what about in Australia (someone in my family asked) where the weather's nice at this time of year? The answer was a good one, and it showed why we really sit in the succah- but I can't remember it right now:(.....
next time...

 
At 6:16 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

workingema: i'm in australia... see comment above for sukkot weather ;)

 
At 7:28 AM, Blogger tafka PP said...

Because the laws of England have been made by a bunch of inbred alcoholics, apparently people can move into any empty building and claim ‘squatters rights’. Therefore, every Sukkos morning I require one of my kids to open the Sukkah door for fear of finding a family of Armenians claiming ‘squatters rights’ in my Sukkah.

LOL!!!

Hope your Temple of Eastern Promise (Have you decorated with any Turkish Delight wrappers?!) doesn't blow over- I fear my parents' has already (but hey they're in the North, and you're in the Cholent)

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Sarah:
My brothers used to sleep in the sukkah in NY and being such deep sleepers woke up drenched!

Anonym00kie;
I say, as long as your cover story's good- go with whatever makes you happy (even if it's the Great Pumpkin)

Socialworker:
Maybe I'll send you a photo!

Bagelundercouch:
Eeeeew!

Workingema:
I like that saying!!

Tafkapp:
I like 'temple of eastern promise'! I truly am knee deep in cholent in Goldbergs Green!

 
At 3:58 PM, Blogger Mia said...

LOL! I would also love to see a picture of your Sukka!

It was freezing cold in Switzerland..... no rain, just coooooold!

 
At 5:16 PM, Blogger Scraps said...

The weather in my hometown is often abysmal on Sukkot. It sometimes rains, occasionally snows, and is almost always cold. However, I wasn't there for yom tov, so I didn't have to deal with that. :-P The weather was very nice where I was--slightly chilly, but beautiful for mid-October.

You know, if your husband slept in the sukkah, y'all could claim your own squatters' rights. ;-)

 
At 6:50 PM, Blogger Nemo said...

What happened to good old homemade wooden Sukkahs, they were so much classier, homier and warmer then this 21st century sythetic mudular crap. I miss the old days where sukkahs had to be built with electric saws, nails and carpenters glue.

 
At 8:57 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

OMG OMG OMG Roflmao!!!!!
now i'm home sick

 
At 12:50 AM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

LOL-ROFL!!! Thanks for adding to my holiday joy.

Gut Moed and chag sameach.

 
At 5:02 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Mia:
I might just send you one!!!

Scraps:
I gave my husband the message and he said since I have no intention of sleeping in the sukkah neither should he- sholam bayis after all!

Nemo:
Ours is completely wooden!!!

Limey:
So, nu, VISIT!!!

Chasidishe Shaigetz;
You always know what to say!
Enjoy Chol Hamoed!

 
At 8:26 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Lol...Yes, combining succot with pesach would make the most sense, if you think about it.

Sounds like you are actually having a good time, being with family and friends, is really what makes the times the most meaningful.

Chag Sameach!

 
At 11:54 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Barbara:
It would make more sense, wouldn't it?
I hope you have a lovely Chag as well!

 
At 7:55 AM, Blogger MC Aryeh said...

I am thinking inbred alcoholics might be responsible for a few of the lesser seen royals as well...

 
At 10:44 PM, Blogger Bonnie B said...

So very funny!!!! Happy to read it.

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

McAryeh:
I think you have a point!!!

Bonnie;
Thanks!!!

 
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