Friday, September 29

The Impossible Bream

Does anyone besides me think it’s bizarre that for every minyan in any metropolitan Jewish community there is at least one sushi restaurant? Even here in London, with all the new places opening up; we have sushi coming out of our ears.
Don’t get me wrong- I love sushi as much as the next Yankel or Shprintze, but somehow I can’t picture Yoko or Ichiro partaking from a jellified piece of gefilte fish.
Jackie Mason once joked that sushi was created by a Jew who wanted to open a restaurant without having to cook anything in the kitchen.

I remember vividly when sushi came into fashion and it was served at the first Heimishe simcha. It was considered so avant-guard. I recall coming home, having tried my first piece of raw salmon just to have my sons hide their goldfish from me.

You might ask why am I talking about fish, now, today???
Because it is at this time of year that we’re busy with fish:
We use it’s head as a Siman on Rosh Hashana so the kids can have creepy dreams.
*We go to river and chuck bread to try to choke the little critters right in midstream.
*We stuff ourselves with it on Erev Yom Kippur so we won’t ever want to eat again.
*We read about Yona, who was swallowed by Big Mouth Billy Bass and then by Nemo.
*And we’re supposed to break our fasts on bony ones so we don’t inhale all the food at once, like Lucianno Pavarotti.

I read an article by Rabbi Yaakov Sinclair, who says that we’re so enamoured with fish on these Yomim Noraim because of what the fish symbolise.
Fish start off in water and die in water; they never diverge from their source. In the same way at this time of year, especially Yom Kippur we try to be as one with our source. By eating fish we express our instinctive desire to return to Hashem, our ultimate source.

And my Chiddush is this; the same way that fish have short term memories is the same way we should deal with other people. When it comes to grudges, we should have a short term memory as well.

I don’t mean to carp, but maybe this way, we can tip the scales and be let off the hook! Well, they don’t call it Yom Kipper for nothing.

G’mar Chasima tova to all of you and have an easy fast!!
(And remember, I’m from Monsey and our fish speaks for itself.)



At 12:08 PM, Blogger kollel mama said...

Hee hee that was a really cute one :)
Have a good shabbos!

At 12:34 PM, Blogger kishmech said...

hehe.....nothing fishy bout your chiddush. gmar chasima tova.
( they wanted to open a restaurant without building a kitchen!! 10 jews 10 versions of the same joke. )

At 1:43 PM, Blogger BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

Well, I am envious that you live in a Jewish community. I would long to see a kosher sushi place to eat!

Have a good Shabbos.

Have an easy fast.

At 3:32 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Kollel Mama:
Thanks!!! Gut Shabbos to you!

Thanks! Have a whale of a time on shabbos!

Well, Barabara- you are officially part of THIS very close jewish community- check my blogroll!
Have a fabulous Shabbos and a very easy fast!

At 4:15 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

The gemara says that tzaddikim are reincarnated as fish......
think about it

At 4:56 PM, Blogger Asparagus said...

Hey! What do you call a fish smoking a cigar?

At 5:07 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Gmar chasima tova very cute how you connected the fish to teshuva.

At 5:54 PM, Blogger Bonnie B said...

I feel all gill-y after reading that one, but then again I'm hooked on this blog. I'd say i was a worm in a book, but that would be a fish story because this is a blog.

OK I'm a little green in the gills, so I think I'll just swim under a shady rock.

At 8:30 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

Hey! What do you call a fish smoking a cigar...


At 10:30 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

we don't have a sushi place here :(
well, we have a fish shop and i think they might sell sushi but it's not the same as a proper sushi restaurant like my favourite one in LA.

excellent lesson learned from you post as always :)

gmar chatimah tova, have an easy fast and meaningful yom kippur.

At 10:05 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Wish I could inhale food like Pavarotti and look like Twiggy
Impossible Bream, though!

At 3:24 AM, Blogger Chana said...


Have an easy fast!

At 8:05 AM, Blogger Mia said...

Very cute! Gmar ve chatima tova and have an easy fast.

At 5:23 PM, Blogger Chasidishe Shaigitz said...

Funny :)

Gmar Chasima Tova, easy fast.

At 7:41 PM, Blogger PsychoToddler said...

We have no sushi. Sob.

I have to import it from Chicago.

Gmar Chatima Tova.

At 10:26 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

That's why we have so many talking fish in Monsey!!!

I dunno.

Thanks, hope you had an easy fast!

It was I who was floundering!

Thank you sweetie!
I hope you had an easy fast and a meanigful one!

Girl, that was fun-ny!

I know!

Thanks Luv!

Chasidishe Shaigetz:
Thanks, hope you had an easy fast!

I hope their sushi is worth it!!!

At 2:53 PM, Blogger Scraps said...

There's no kosher sushi in my hometown (Hicktown, USA) and if they tried to import it, it would probably go bad on the way there. But I'm not much of one for dead fish, anyway. I see it at simchas in NY and related areas and I think it's rather overhyped.

Gmar chatimah tovah. :)

At 6:19 AM, Blogger HilaHoney said...

Oh my goodness! You are hilarious! I am sad that I did not discover your blog sooner! You are definitely going on my blogroll now! :-) Gmar chatima tovah!

At 5:40 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

You really ARE a honey!!!
You just know what to say, thank you!

At 10:05 AM, Blogger RR said...

"I don’t mean to carp, but maybe this way, we can tip the scales and be let off the hook! Well, they don’t call it Yom Kipper for nothing."

LOL! How very punny- I mean funny!

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