Friday, May 12

And Kasamba and Presumptua Walk into the Sunset….

The previous post was only one tact I took to attack my ego. The other one was, ‘if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em’. I don’t know if you noticed, but I never referred to my ego as my Yezer Harah, because it really isn’t. Okay, so it’s the part of a person that feels good in a new outfit or a flashy car, and it prefers to travel first class. But it’s also that part of a person that feels really good when they’ve done a Chessed and accomplished when they’ve done a mitzvah, and even proud when it resists the lure of the Yetzer Harah. Ah ha! I had discovered that Presumtua could be channelled! But in order to do that my ego had to acknowledge the existence of other people. Like you and you! Of course I knew other people existed, but I don’t think they deserve to be number two in my consciousness. For instance, how many times would I listen to someone while mentally running through my shopping list?

And then after I broke my hip, I opened the closet and fractured my jaw
Me: “Oh really”
(I must buy eggs and yeast, I need more yeast..)
“Then I tripped on the cat and sent it flying into the frying pan causing my entire kitchen to set fire”
Me: “Oh really”
(Mmm, I wonder if they have any of that good cheese left?)
“The fire spread and I lost all my worldly possessions and now I live out of a box”
Me: “It’s been great to talk to you- must dash!”
(Did I put my wallet in this handbag or is it still in the other one…)

Once I became sensitive to the realisation that I had never really listened to someone with my entire being, I was given a gift. The gift was to be able to truly share with others in way I never dreamed possible. It took all my relationships to another level. Suddenly, after listening, but really, listening, I could no longer be as judgemental. How could I be annoyed with my friend for being late, if she was going through a tough time with her baby? All sorts of situations that were potential eruptions were diffused because I had taken the time to find out what was going on in other people’s lives. I understood them better. I think I got tremendously shocked to become conscious of just how much pain is out there. I never knew. I had been so busy with my self, my feelings, my needs, my wants, that when I saw the sheer courage and bravery that people go through on a day to day basis, I could not thank Hashem enough for granting me all that He had.

I still have to ketch myself not to feel too big for my britches, and when I do, I just have to look around me; at the people in my town who can’t afford to make Shabbos, the people in Ertez Yisroel who are going through the worst yessurim possible, the people who in various ways are being tested by ill health, and I see that I have the ability to ease their suffering if only to really listen to them. And then comes the responsibility, and this is where Presumptua really comes into the picture. Once I knew what was lacking in someone’s life, once I was privy to their pain and suffering, only I was in a position to know what they need and then I could provide it! I was put in an opportune place to provide Chessed!

Presumtua loves this, she feels all yummy and good.

And Kasamba and Presumptua Walk into the Sunset….
(Although Presumptua is bound by chains.
Which she doesn’t mind because they are made of diamonds.)


At 12:08 PM, Blogger jemima3 said...

funny and thoughtful. Love the conversation sketch. I see it so often- everybody busy talking, and nobody really listening or caring about the other one.

At 12:13 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Oh me, Oh my!! Did I have a good laugh or what!

Is this the funniest post by you so far? I think I laughed the hardest.

But then, dear Kasamba - I continued to read and found a lump growing in my throat -
you see - what you describe in your post - is so similar to what I have been experiencing this year....
There is a world out there besides for me - a world full of color, and people and emotions -
some not at all to do with me -
but I too can reach out.....

and so - I laugh, cry and send you my love.

At 1:51 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

What you said is so true- I guess that's why so many people pay someone to listen to them. In todays busy world somehow we can fail to provide a basic human need. Thank you!

You always write the most wonderful comments! They're the kind that I just want to hang up all over my house so I can look at them at will.
There is so much out there waiting for you!

At 2:35 PM, Blogger Tomboy said...

I laughed out loud here.

Listening is a hardcore skill. I don't think I'll ever master it fully.

At 2:38 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Very funny, and true. Not easy to listen with a full being and I am the sw talking.

At 2:58 PM, Blogger kishmech said...

no....the best was the last comment in brackets. Truth is, how many of us can actually say we know ourselves as well as you do?
Look kasie, just dont talk to presumptua in public, ok?

At 3:39 PM, Blogger Also A Chussid said...

Nice and thoughtful…

At 3:58 PM, Blogger s.J. said...

broken limbs.
homeless people.
rancid cheese.
diamond chains.


At 4:42 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Everytime you read a post you're listening- so thanks!
And I ever tell you that you have the prettiest smile?

Too true!

Kish-babe; Just for you we'll try not to converse in pulic. (Although it might give everyone in Kays a thrill!)

Always a thrill when you stop by!

Hey SJ, I knew you'd find something to jump your cables!

At 7:32 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

so inspiring!

At 8:08 PM, Blogger Ezzie said...

Hilarious but on the ball. We all need to learn to stop and listen.

People need to get over how "busy" they are, too. Perhaps if we'd stop andlisten we'd find we're not so busy after all.

At 9:11 PM, Blogger Lady-Light said...

LOL! -I can very much relate to the conversation sketch; but as funny as it was, it also seriously reminds me of the need to focus on davening, for example, while fighting off thoughts of ten thousand other things at the same time.
You are on a higher 'madrega' because you are aware of this. Keep up the good blog, and keep doing acts of Chesed.

At 9:24 PM, Blogger MUST Gum Addict said...

May the two of you live happily ever after

(cue music...)

At 3:48 AM, Blogger cruisin-mom said...

Kasamba: funny and lovely all rolled into one.

At 10:26 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

a very down to earth and amusing way of portraying your challenges and the results of changing habits to channel presumptua away from the yetzer hara into a good thing. (which is one of the things the rav spoke about in his shiur on pirkei avot this afternoon. not presumtua but channeling/conquering the yetzer hara and using that strength for good.)

very inspiring. and i also identify with it in many ways.

it's hard not to be distracted these days with so many things going on around! but it's one of many things to work on. thank you for the reminders, it makes me conscious of such things when i read/hear/learn about them so i will make more of an effort.

shavua tov! :)

At 11:23 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Thanks Darlin'!

I think that's the hardest lesson of them all!

Oh, how right you are! Here I stand in fronT of our Creator and my focus drifts to "I wish my shoes were more comfortable..." Plus, thank you for the lovely compliment- I find I have to keep refocusing the whole time with everything, but it is easier when you're aware.

LOL! Shame you can't join in on the 'Kasamba Mamba'!

Thanks so much!

I'm so glad you got something from my post! Sounds like a great shir you go to and as long as you have people like your Rav to insire you- you can only go higher!
Thanks for your comments!

At 12:23 AM, Blogger Bonnie B said...

kasamba you are truly an inspiration. You know how to find your faults and laugh at them-- and then miraculously work at fixing them. What is your secret magic because I sure would love some?

At 7:02 AM, Blogger Dot Co Dot Il said...

Where would we be without you?

At 10:21 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Very thoughtful post.
Now so much yeast?You make your own Challos, don't you?

At 12:47 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Thanks, you are so sweet! I prefer to laugh at my faults cuz it sure beats the heck out of crying! (I don't think I have magic but I am sprinkling the keyboard with fairy dust)

Probably reading someone elses blog?;)

Hi! I don't think I could cope if you didn't comment!
I loooove making challahs! I make two types every week plus babkas and kokosh cakes! I put Rabbi Tatz on the CD player and the yeast rises and so do I!

At 2:02 PM, Blogger Amishav said...

I can relate to what you are saying here- its hard to really listen to people when there is so much pain, and I think thats why most people don't- if they actually heard it, they would have to do something about it- and that's tough. And I agree with you very much the yetzer hara is not the ego- unless someone is completely evil, which you are not. That would be your evil twin- Abmasak.

At 6:23 PM, Blogger Eshet Chayil said...

Kasamba, you always manage to put a big smile on my face! You're the sweetest.

At 6:32 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

I think you got it in one! It's easier to escape than have to be proactive.I love the name of my evil twin- Abmasak!!! You know that post is coming one day!!!

Eshet: Thanks- you know I think you're the best too!

At 9:40 PM, Blogger Moiy-rah said...

i came to visit.


and i didnt read your blog.










At 10:24 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Glad you visited!!
But I must say- you are a bit spacey.

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