Tuesday, July 4

“If I Can’t Eat the Whole Cake, I Won’t Have a Slice”

Shmiras Halashon is scary.

Scarier than Tammy Faye Bakers eyelashes in a dark alley. I
n addition to being scary, there is such a vast amount of Dinim to commit to, that in itself can paralyse anyone with good intentions.
There is so much to learn and do, that it just seems easier to be like Tony Blair and do nothing at all.
But that’s not the smart thing, actually it’s quite dumb.

I’ll give you an example why:

Donald Trump sees you on the street and recognises you as the wonderful person that you are. He says to you, “You look like such a nice person that I’m going to give you four hours in Bergdorf Goodman to get as many things as you want…for FREE.” So, you amble down to Bergdorf Goodman, and look at the vastness of the store. Then you turn to The Donald and say, “Thanks very much Donald, but the store is too big and there are too may floors and it means so much schlepping up and down, and there is no way that I can take everything in the store, so I think I’ll give it a miss.”
You wouldn’t do that, would you? No way!

What you would do, is organise yourself and figure out your priorities.
Then in a systematic manner, you would set about getting as many goods as you can, especially from Valentino and Oscar De La Renta. Okay, so it means schlepping, and you can’t completely empty the store. But you would try. G-d knows I would!
Let’s look at what you would have accomplished. You would have enough of a wardrobe to last you and your friends and family for the next five years.
(Or maybe two years- things go out of fashion, you know.)
Whoa.

The same thing holds true for the Dinim of Shmiras Halashon, or indeed the Torah itself. The labour is tedious, and there is no way you can accomplish everything, but by setting about it systematically you can accomplish a tremendous amount, and the reward is enormous.

By the way, never let it be said that I am in any way denigrating the benefit of retail therapy, especially at Donald Trump’s expense,
however the ‘high’ of shopping is unsustainable. (Test me, test me!)
At best, it requires feeding. (Feed me, feed me!)

Once you get used to what you bought, you have to go out and purchase something new.

It is always emptying and refilling.
Torah is not like that at all.
The ‘high’ that you get is forever
.
It builds on itself and makes you that much higher.

Rather than being what you have, it becomes who you are.

36 Comments:

At 9:13 AM, Blogger the only way i know said...

very insightful thought - about not needing a refill all the time when it comes to torah - that it becomes part of you....
i'll remember that!
see ya later - gotta go shopping!

 
At 9:13 AM, Blogger the only way i know said...

Yay!!!
i was the first -
AND SECOND!
lol!!

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Pragmatician said...

Great post and funny as usual.
I always fantasized about getting a good-for-life gift check at my favorite restaurant.
But I think my wife would prefer your idea.

It's true that the feeling after holding in a spicy Lashon Harah, can't be bought for money.
Unfortunately the feeling when telling one can't be either.

 
At 10:31 AM, Blogger Asparagus said...

Test me and feed me Ma; i need a few skirts

xxx

 
At 12:57 PM, Blogger exsemgirl said...

Hey, great way of putting it!

When I learn my din-a-day I always wonder how the hell am I gonna manage to keep all these...

But I do my bit and learn and make the effort. And hope it will become part of me!

O and Valentino and Oscar De La Renta...hmmm I think your an my priorities differ slightly... ;)

 
At 1:26 PM, Blogger student said...

nice one!!!

n u no now, maybe th next time i go shoppin (with mummys credit card- which will prob b never...) il think of shmiras halashon..

and i liked th part at the end...thank you!!

 
At 1:29 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

The only way:
You're always number one to me!

Prag:
Thanks- maybe one day?
The Vilna Goan says that for every second a person refrains from saying a bit of Loshon Hara they merit the Or Hagnuz.

Asparagus:
Oh, okay then, go and elevate gashmius- just don't spend so much!

exsem:
Thanks, don't they say we're building the third Bais Hamikdash brick by brick? so its bit by bit! You're doing great!

Not valentino or oscar- who else is there??????

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Student;
Ta!
As I said to Asparagus; let's all elevate gashmius; one outfit at a time.....

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger David_on_the_Lake said...

Oh..to feel that sense of urgency...in spirituality is soo difficult..

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger the sabra said...

hey nice thoughts
like the train

 
At 9:59 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

David:
I crave it too.

Sabra:
Thanks!

 
At 10:56 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Great comparisons. Serious pt thru brilliant humor way to go.

 
At 11:36 PM, Blogger FrumGirl said...

Agreed, retail therapy doesnt do much for the long term. But it sure is nice thinking about 4 free hours in Bergdoff!

OK, now that I stopped daydreaming... great post! The message is so strong... and so true! Maybe we should just refrain from speaking at all, lol.

 
At 3:04 AM, Blogger Lvnsm27 said...

FG, lol :), thank G-d there Are plenty of things to talk about without gossiping. Love your humor.

Kasamba, excellent post, Love your humor too. Anyhoo, I agree that it's so overwhelming when we think about the hard task of guarding our words and that we should just try to make an effort and do the best we can.

 
At 4:05 AM, Blogger Frum but Thinking said...

I agree, but what will I have to do, if not talk about people? :)

 
At 4:06 AM, Blogger ~ Sarah ~ said...

wise words as always.

and you know your audience well... things sound so simple if you use a favourite pastime like shopping as an example to illustrate the point!!

 
At 9:03 AM, Blogger kollel mama said...

Hey, you can pull off the four free hours in Bergdorf's...just make sure to wait in a long line...oh and make sure to carry your cell phone with you!

 
At 10:03 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

Socialworker:
Thanks Sweetie Pie!!!

Frumgirl:
Yeah 4 hours.... hmmmm....
But as for not speaking- would you call me boring????

Ivnsm27:
Great point!
That's all that we can do!

Frumbutthinking:
LOL!
You ARE joking- aren't you?

Sarah:
Well, I do love Bergdorfs!

Kollel Mama:
Lol!!!
Brilliant- you get todays best comment award!

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger exsemgirl said...

Kasamba - "Not valentino or oscar- who else is there??????"

Hrumph.

 
At 12:26 PM, Blogger kishmech said...

(teeny voice) zara?

lol


good post.

 
At 1:11 PM, Blogger the only way i know said...

and number two as well?
(gosh, i'm sooo self centered and indulgent! lol)
babe - you're my numero uno too!

 
At 3:23 PM, Blogger Li`l Miss said...

If only life was so simple... lol.
brililant analogy!

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger kasamba said...

Exsem:
Hrumph- a new designer?
I never heard of him.
;)


Kish:
You're young and gorgeous enough to pull it off!

Theonlyway:
Numbers one and two!

Lil Miss:
If only...
Thanks Luv!

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger A Frum Idealist said...

It's so interesting. I just read a very similar post on a different blog. Your analogy is a great one.

frumgirl - it's interesting that you say that. The Chofetz Chaim was known to be THE epitome of a shomer halashon, and yet, almost anyone who met him said that he was always talking. Granted, we are nowhere near that level though.

 
At 7:15 PM, Blogger socialworker/frustrated mom said...

Sure no pun intended!

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

i'm off to Horrids........

 
At 2:40 AM, Blogger chaverah said...

humm... still thinking about shopping in Bergdorf Goodman for FREE!!!aaahhhhhh........(thinking)......wake me up later....
OK OK i hear you. I guess i will try my best. thanks for the insight.

 
At 3:53 AM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

incredible! so inspiring. i just watched The Devil Wears Prada (new movie about a girl who gets a job at a big fashion magazine) - it makes you wonder if only we could obsess that way about the important stuff!! great post AGAIN!

 
At 10:01 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

Afrumidealist:
Thanks!!!

Socialworker:
;-)!

Limey:
I thought it was Harrabs!

Chaverah:
Remember- shop so you can elevate Gashmius!

Anym00kie:
OOOH! I want to see that!!!

 
At 3:08 PM, Blogger anonym00kie said...

kasamba, if you go see it, try to do it in a rich jappy area, that way you'll get the whole interactive movie experience. i saw it in brooklyn and i had all these girls ooooing and ahhhhing at every outfit and pair of shoes the actresses wore.. it was like the jappy horror picture show..

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger Limey2001 said...

KAS- it was, it was
Mookie!!!OMG!!! thats too funny, can i see it in lakewood?

 
At 9:47 AM, Blogger kasamba said...

Anym00kie:
Lol!
It's sort of like seeing an animal in its natural habitat!
(jappy horor- I love it!!!)


Limey:
Aren't they showing it in the BM in between shir?

 
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