Give Them a Hand!
Erev Shabbos in Jewish homes across the world (or at least in London), women such as myself, are busy playing ‘beat the clock’ before Shabbos comes in.Not so in Monsey NY.
Erev Shabbos in Monsey finds the average Eshes Chayil in the nail salon.
On Friday afternoon, completely organised and relaxed knowing that they have Shabbos completely prepared at home. (Halevei of mir gezucht!)
In Monsey, there are as many nail salons as there are Minyanim. In spite of this, these ‘manicure havens’ are all really homogonous and their staff are literally interchangeable.
These nail salons are all owned and operated by Koreans although to the untrained Monsey eye, they all look Chinese. It is always run by the one Korean ‘Mamasan’ (okay, that’s Japanese. Sue me.) who can speak ‘Engrish’ so she can translate to the rest of her workforce that do not. Ironically, although they can’t say a full English sentence, they all have nametags with monikers stolen straight from an All-American cheerleader squad. You can have your nails done by Jenny, Jessica or Tiffany. They all smile at you sweetly, then yell at each other in Korean (which the Monseyiites would swear is Chinese) then smile at you sweetly again. They won’t understand any of the bright, witty, remarks and observations you make. Although they will laugh politely. Quite possibly at you.
What a waste of good material.
They grab the hand they need to work on and tap your rings to show that you must remove them. Then before they remove polish your nails, they say the only three words in English they know, “You pay now”. Which of course you do, making sure to tip them well so they don’t spit in your polish. You choose from a selection of nail polishes with names like; Moda Skooda, Ador-a ball, Raisinuts, Prima Ballerina and Limo Scene.
When you are done they deposit you by a huge table covered with nail dryers. They then carefully move your sheitel to the side (knowing that it is just a tug away from coming off) and proceed to massage your neck. After around one minute of bliss, they take their tiny fists and start to rhythmically beat you on the back until you thank them profusely or scream, “Mercy!”
In vibrato.
But all of that is ‘de rigour’.
What I find so interesting on my Erev Shabbos Monsey expeditions are my fellow seekers in search of the perfect set of nails. Many moons ago, when I grew up in Monsey, Monsey was run primarily by the ‘Sensible Women Brigade’. You know, the type; sensible shoes, sensible hair, and mix and match clothes. In the good old days, these women would never be caught alive, doing something as vain as getting their nails done.
Not so anymore!
The Sensible Woman Brigade sits alongside the pretty and the pampered and make sure their nails are beautifully shaped and lacquered.
I say good on them!
And what is even better is the achdus the nail-drying tables facilitate. You have double decker women (sheitels and hats) wearing bullet proof tights and sitting beside women wearing very long sheitels with sheer tights, and women who wear no sheitels and no tights at all.
This bizarre gathering of interspecies creates an opportunity for instantaneous bonding where deep, meaningful conversations can take place.
My personal favourite debate is; is it correct to bring a baby to non family Chuppah?
Not once do they discuss kugels or chicken soup.
As I said earlier, these superwomen are super organised. Their food is ready and waiting for them to be warmed up and served. All that’s left for them is to be indulged and improved. After all, you wouldn’t want to greet the Shabbos Queen with mangy nails. These Nashim Tzidkanios look down on their gleaming fingernails as they light candles and bring light into the world and they feel great.
This promotes Sholom Bayis.
I guess that makes Jessica, Jennifer and co. the most unlikely shlichim.
Viva La Difference!
posted by kasamba @ 2/24/2007
16 Comments:
everytime i get my nails done, those crazy vietnamese women spend half the time giggling over my tiny hands and tickling me like a 4 yr old....i'm sure THAT;S what makes people snap and plant bombs in nail salons.
So sad that you'll be unable to blog for awhile... I'm in the same boat myself. But: PLEASE leave your archives up!!! I've just started reading them!!
Thank you SO MUCH for all the awesome entertainment!
Are you in Monsey? Is that why we haven't been hearing from you as much lately? What a relief, a vacation is fine but I was afraid you were leaving us.
Anyway, your post reminded me so much of a short video someone emailed me recently. I won't post a link in case anyone here is sensitive to non-Jewish media, but if you search google video for Anjelah Johnson you'll see what I mean.
cute one!
and really true...
same goes for brooklyn, btw.
:P
It seems you've been to every yiddishe mukam in the world and made the most hysterical observations time and again. Your intelligence is amazing.
the manicure place is the great equaliser amongst women. and they are all exactly as you described. run by asian (korean/vietnamese/chinese... i can never tell) people anywhere in the world it seems! in australia (where I go) to the place in LA that I found that is good (the longest lasting manicure i've had), sounds exactly as you describe!
while melbourne is not monsey, i have heard some very interesting conversations at the nail drying table!
for me.. it's clean and shape the nails, moisturize and skip the 'porish'
I had enough of waiting ages for the polish to dry, only to have a dent in it 2 seconds after I walked out of the manicurist!
I feel so clean without the 'porish' - but as far as conversations go by my korean/chines/japanese/will never figure it out Place...there are mostly non-jewish clientelle... and there's not much conversation going on.. I only get to listen to instructions on how they want the 'tips' done in silver, with pink butterflies..
Hey, Kasamba-- I've tagged you. See Half Baked for details.
BTW, the taxis in my neighborhood also seem to be run mainly by orientals. Just you try getting where you're going when your driver can't read the road signs and you don't have time to learn Chinese.
I remember when I was in NY and needed to fix up a couple nails that were done the day before. I was on Ave. J and asked someone where there's a nail salon and they mentioned one that was about a block away. Since it was friday, it was packed and so after waiting awhile, I left. It was interesting to see.
I don't feel qualified to comment on this post as the World President of the Never Had A Manicure Association
NHAMA
there goes the nieghorhood!
ninest123 12.31
tory burch outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton outlet, burberry outlet online, louboutin, jordan shoes, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet, burberry, polo ralph lauren outlet, christian louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, louis vuitton, louboutin shoes, michael kors, polo ralph lauren outlet, chanel handbags, oakley sunglasses, prada handbags, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, gucci outlet, longchamp outlet, uggs on sale, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, nike outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton, nike free, tiffany and co, louis vuitton outlet, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, replica watches, longchamp, prada outlet, replica watches, nike air max, ray ban sunglasses, cheap oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, ugg boots, louis vuitton, nike air max, tiffany jewelry, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, michael kors outlet
louis vuitton, canada goose, karen millen, pandora charms, moncler, converse outlet, pandora jewelry, links of london, canada goose, wedding dresses, lancel, moncler, canada goose uk, supra shoes, replica watches, moncler outlet, hollister, toms shoes, doke gabbana outlet, canada goose, doudoune canada goose, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, moncler, ugg boots uk, canada goose, louis vuitton, ugg pas cher, swarovski, barbour, pandora jewelry, marc jacobs, moncler, bottes ugg, louis vuitton, moncler, louis vuitton, sac louis vuitton pas cher, canada goose outlet, montre pas cher, barbour jackets, pandora charms, juicy couture outlet, moncler, juicy couture outlet, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, thomas sabo, swarovski crystal, moncler, ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia
nienst123 12.31
This article is interesting and useful. And let me share an article about health which insha Allah will be very useful if we use it again for others.
Obat Untuk Mengobati penyakit osteoarthritis
Cara Mengobati Penyakit Gula Darah
Obat Untuk Penyakit TBC
Cara Mengobati Jamur Mulut
www0724
louboutin shoes
true religion outlet
raptors jerseys
burberry outlet
kate spade outlet
armani exchange
hermes birkin
supreme clothing
karen millen dresses
burberry outlet
jordans
supreme new york
paul george
yeezy shoes
kobe shoes
bape hoodie
kd 12 shoes
jordan shoes
jordans
golden goose outlet
Post a Comment
<< Home