Monday, February 26

School Never Ends

An evil poem that redeems itself.

School Never Ends
To say I dislike school fundraising dinners and school shows
Would be a form of major understatement I suppose
Because you’d think giving a donation would be enough
But sitting through speaker after speaker- man that’s tough
Even though I know I must support my kids’ school
My eyes glaze over before I’m even seated as a rule.

Blahdi, blahdi, blah; education is the key, it is the core
Yeah, I sort of got the message eighty dinners before!

It is said that it is much better to give than to receive
If that’s true, we gave already- so why can’t we leave?
I think I just take umbrage at the whole phrasing
I mean, just who put ‘fun’ into the word ‘fundraising’?

And then comes the school shows which get the kids all excited
With all the hype- you’d think they were about to get knighted!
To get close to the school is a nightmare- parking is a real kafuffle
Then once you’re inside to get good seats, again you have to shuffle.


But as soon as my sweet treasures did what they had to do
Which usually entails them saying lines that are oh so few
I still must stay for another three hours, which is a whole day shot
It’s not like I’m interested in your sweet little darlins- I’m really not
But before all of you start jumping right down my throat
Don’t be all self righteous cuz we’re all in the same boat!
So calm down, count to ten and then take a breather
I know you’re not much interested in my kids either!

Wouldn’t it be so much better if the school was able
To come up with a precise schedule and timetable
So we could come on time to watch our own offspring
And then waltz home right after- not missing a thing!

Okay, okay I know I’m being a tad bit mean
After all, I know we’re all on the same team.
As Lady J says, all yiddisher kinder are ‘ours’ not ‘yours’ or ‘mine’
And the way she says it, you know that it’s not just a line.
So would it kill me a few times, for a few hours a year
To enjoy other peoples children that they hold so dear?

And to say that I can’t stand school dinners, I can’t really afford
Because my husband is the chairman of the school dinners board!

So I will go to both and I promise I will try to enjoy and smile
But I will be thinking about writing another evil poem all the while.

16 Comments:

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Ezzie said...

Heh. :P Sooo true.

 
At 1:56 AM, Blogger Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Fantastic!!!

 
At 5:05 AM, Blogger The Dreamer said...

don't have kids yet, but i've sat through my students' performances.

i hear what you're saying loud and clear.

still, doesn't it give you a little bit of nachas?

and to tell you the truth, noone will probably notice if you take this time (be it at a dinner or play) to catch up on some much needed sleep!

 
At 5:55 AM, Blogger Bas~Melech said...

Spoken like a true "Eim Beyisroel." :)

I think perhaps, as mechanchim, they choose to structure things that way to give you a taste of what your children feel like trying to sit still through classes so that you will be an even more understanding mother.

At the dinner, the napping might be more noticeable than at the play, but I'm sure the other mothers will understand. Maybe you'll start a trend.

 
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